It Don't Come Easy

At least for me.

Thankfully, November points me toward gratitude. 

I appreciate the reminder.

Research proves that gratitude improves not only your mental health but your relationships and physical health as well. In that case it seems my doctor should be writing me a prescription for that rather then sending me to the lab for a blood draw.

Some books and articles I've read describe how gratitude has literally transformed a person's life.

I, too would like a transformed life.

I sit down. Journal in hand. Gratitude in mind. Except when I start writing the list of gratitudes it feels contrived. Forced. Trite.

No healthy benefits for me. I feel like a fraud. Someone putting on the face of gratitude but really dissing it behind it's back.

Maybe I'm just doing it wrong? I need a cuter journal? A higher quality pen? A better writing surface?

Is there a secret to gratitude journaling? Am I not introspective enough? Is it lying dormant inside me?

Why for the love of gratefulness is it not working?

I finally figured out that maybe intentional gratitude doesn't look the same for everyone.

Because actually I am grateful for mossy bricks, raw umber paint, hammered gold earrings and the scent of lavender.

I just seek it out and record it differently. Lists don't work for me. But photography does. I challenge myself to search for gratitude in my ordinary, everyday life.

I've been doing this for awhile.

I just haven't been calling it gratitude. Honestly it looks more like, "quit complaining and go find something good in your life". Like I said before...it doesn't come easy for me.

But it is there. I have found it.

Collected. Bundled. Hugged tight.

Noticing abundance. Enjoying ordinary moments. Acknowledging blessings.

This is my gratitude.

What does yours look like?