100% You

What does that even mean?

Are there percentages of me?

Probably, now that I think about it. One day I'm 45% me. The next 67%. On a good day 82%.

All I know is that on most days it's easier not to be me.

It's easier to be swayed by what others want or need. To be a lower percentage of myself. A proxy. A substitute.

I'm sure it's different for you. You are confident and self-assured. You aren't swayed by public opinion or judgement. You are mindful and healthy. You are my role model.

Shakespeare had it right when he wrote these words in Hamlet, "....to thine own self be true". Or in more recent history Steve Jobs is quoted as saying, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." Basically these guys are suggesting that it's important to be yourself. Accept yourself. Embrace yourself. 

I believe that within each of us is a uniquely designed person. But how will the world know if you and I keep that person inside? Hidden away. Locked behind a door called Fitting In. 

The problem is I don't always like my differences. Or accept myself. I look to the world for validation. Which. Is. A. Terrible. Mistake. The world tells me to look, act, and achieve like everyone else. It's an unattainable mirage that has me trudging knee-deep in sand. 

My interests. Talents. Gifts. Passions. All unique.

I love that.

Except when I don't. Except when I compare. Except when I want to be like someone else. A watered down version of myself. Anemic. Halfhearted.

No thank you.

Who am I meant to be? Who was I created to become? This person lives within me. She is no mirage. No optical illusion.

But it will take courage to dig her out of the sand.