You Get To Choose

This is something I forget.

A lot.

I agree to do something by choice. Doesn't really matter what it is. Then I'm irritated.

Instead of banging my head against the wall. I need to remember: I chose. I decided. I committed.

Here's a small example of what I'm talking about. This morning I was driving home from downtown, feeling annoyed. Why? Because my son had missed his bus due to poor planning. To make a bad problem worse there is a festival this weekend that shuts down portions of our freeways due to the spectacular aeronautics of the Blue Angels. For him to get to work it was critical that he get across the bridge prior to this closure.

Do you see my dilemma?

Yes, natural consequences. I read that book too.

The point is I was irritated driving home until it dawned on me that I chose to drive him to the downtown bus stop. 

I chose.

I might not choose to do it next time. 

Because, well....natural consequences. And from there I realize it's a slippery slope to codependency.

This example might not be your downward spiral. Your kids might be out of bed and on time for everything. But I'm sure if you dig deep you can find your own. I think we can all get trapped in a cycle of forgetting that we are making choices. That life isn't just happening to us or against us.

For me, consciously acknowledging that I made the choice was a step in the right direction. Accepting responsibility rather than blaming. It's hard to look inside and realize what I'm doing is the result of my choices.

In recognizing my prerogative to choose I might start making some changes. This might be the impetus necessary to push me forward. Set in motion a new set of decisions.

It seems that a byproduct of choosing well is living with intention. Deciding on purpose. Developing meaning.

And unfortunately there might be push back. If you decide to choose with deeper intention and consideration. This thoughtful, deliberative choosing might make others unhappy.

Despite what we say most of us like others to stay the same. Flawed thinking but true.

So the healthy choice that is good for me might not make you happy.

Can I sit with that? Be okay with that?

I get to choose. 

There is freedom in choosing.

Just to let you know...chances are if you're running late I'll probably just choose to call you an uber.