The To-Do List Problem

It occurred to me a few weeks ago that I have a problem.

One of many actually. But let's just focus on one for today.

It all started with this question, "Did you get a lot done today?" 

For some of you this would be offensive. For many, hurtful. For most, downright rude.

For me? Caring. If you look closely you can see I'm wearing productivity like a crown. Held captive. Bound up.

This is my problem.

I love to get a lot done. And I mean L. O. V. E.

If I'm honest I judge my day based on my productivity. Acting as if there is a star chart validating my efforts. 

By asking, if I got a lot done my husband was preempting his normal question, "How was your day?" anticipating that my answer would reflect how much I got done. 

Is your mind spinning yet?

The get 'er done mentality is very helpful in prepping for a dinner party, setting up for a fundraiser or decorating for a wedding.

But it need not spill over into my daily life. Creating impossible expectations. Perpetuating a distorted mindset.

Were tasks completed? To-do lists checked off? A job well done?

This is crazy making at it's finest.

A work ethic run amok.

What I'm completely missing out on in this flawed thinking is the beauty of each moment. The enjoyment of doing. The space for creating.

Most of life, essentially all of life is lived in this space. Moment by moment. In the doing. In the being. In the present

It's not that it's bad to be goal oriented. Driven. Or productive.

But it can be exhausting. 

Especially since I don't cut myself a lot of slack. Give myself grace. Or allow for much down time.

This is not good.

So I'm learning.

I'm learning to be more mindful each day. Realistic with my expectations. Gracious with interruptions.

I want to live a generous life that reflects my values. A life that does not overlook today. To be present.

I believe productivity is valuable. Just not the most important thing.

So I'm working to rein in the need to feverishly accomplish tasks. 

I'm sure I will always like to get a lot done but being cognizant of that will hopefully keep it in check.

I doubt I'm the only one that needs to keep my to-do list in it's proper place.

If that's you. What's your strategy?